A New Kind of Giving

For most of my life Christmas was about making a wish list and hoping to get everything on it. Selfish, I know. As I've gotten older (and hopefully more mature Ha!) I began feeling like Christmas giving should mean something more than just giving and receiving "stuff". So, over the past few years I've made at least one gift for each family member, or tried to find the perfect gift that they never knew they always wanted. It's almost like a treasure hunt! To me gifts should say to the receiver, "I found/made this, and specifically had you in mind. I love you." For me, giving back during the Christmas season is putting into physical form how I feel about those I love the most. It's not about spending outrageous amounts of money or buying piles of presents. It's about the moment when they open the gift and the look on their face tells me they realize I have been paying attention. It's that moment of "I am loved." I know good and well that presents do not equal love, but think about how you feel when God blesses you with something above and beyond your basic needs and you have been desiring it for a long time. Don't you feel loved and think, "He did hear my secret whispered prayers!"? Me too, friend, me too. Giving presents is my way of expressing not only my love, but also God's love for the people in my life. Giving back can mean a multitude of things, and my meaning of it should not diminish the fact that there are people in our communities that need our help this Christmas season. There are many options to get involved, and here are some practical ways to get help out in your community and beyond:

• Serve food at your local homeless shelter...they need help not only on Christmas day, but all year long.
• Give gifts to your local toy drive.
• Donate food to a food pantry.
• Drop a box off for Operation Christmas Child (a personal favorite of mine!)
• Adopt a local family and provide Christmas dinner and/or gifts for their kids
• Donate money to your favorite charity or ministry by decreasing the amount you spend on gifts this season. You can even make a card for your friends and family that tells them a donation has been made in their honor!

I hope this Christmas season you do not become so consumed with stuff that you forget the people for who you are buying the gifts.

-A

Peace On Earth and In My Soul

During the holiday season stores are filled with greeting cards and decorations that read some version of “Peace on Earth”. This year it is making me ask myself, “Do I have peace in my little part of the earth? Do I have peace in my soul?” If I answered honestly, it would probably be... To read the rest of Peace on Earth and In My Soul see page 19 in the December issue @ www.exemplifyonline.com (You can also read it in blog form here)!!!

A New Christmas Tradition

My family's Christmas traditions have changed a lot over the years. After my parents divorced, it was inevitable that things would change during the holidays. Then add remarriage, siblings getting married and having kids, and I realized new traditions would have to be forged. Christmas day has really changed. I used to wish Christmas day could always be the same every year, and now every year Christmas is different. So, not only do I have split my time between two parents, I don't get to see all of my siblings every year either. They all have in-laws to see now too. After I mourned the loss of my old Christmas traditions, I began to realize that each year is an opportunity to for new memories. Our new tradition is that every year is different than the one before. I think it's going to remain that way for me until I have my own family and we can make our own traditions together. So, until that day comes, I will choose to be thankful that I have a family that I love and loves me back. That is more than what a lot of people have this Christmas season. To read about other people's Christmas traditions please visit www.exemplifyonline.com.

Christmas Playlist Link Up

Can I be honest? I've never bought Christmas music! My play list has mainly been supplied by my mom's collection from over the years. In the spirit of sharing and the Christmas season, here is I will be listening to and/or singing this:

• The Elf soundtrack....the whole thing, but especially 'Baby It's Cold Outside' sung by Leon Redbone & Zooey Deschanel. Elf is my favorite Christmas movie of all time.

• The Nutcracker Suite - London Symphony Orchestra...In 5th grade I danced in the Nutcracker. I tried out for one of the children in the party scene, but was cast as a rat. My costume was definitely better than what the party children had to wear!

• Mannheim Steamroller has always been a staple in my family. When I hear it, it takes me back to Christmases of my childhood!

• I don't have many Christmas carols downloaded onto my ipod, but I can't wait to sing them at the Christmas Eve service at my church! Some of my favorites to sing are Oh Come, Oh Come Emanuel; Silent Night; Away In the Manger; and Joy To The World.

You don't have to tell me twice that my play list is pitiful, but Christmas music has never been my passion. I would much rather watch Christmas movies! Here's what I'll be watching to stay in the Christmas spirit!

• Elf
• Little Women
• Just Friends
• Christmas Vacation
• A Christmas Story
• The Grinch Who Stole Christmas
• The Polar Express
• The Muppet Christmas Carol
• Home Alone
• Lifetime channel Christmas movies - I'm a sucker for the cheese factor

So, what's on your play list this year? What are your favorite carols to sing? Anything I must download to expand my Christmas music selection? To read what other people are listening to this Christmas season visit www.exemplifyonline.com.

The Writing Groove and Christmas Fun

Can I be honest? I'm struggling to find a writing groove with my blog. I have a lot of great intentions, but I think it's now a matter of just writing. I've asked several of my blogging friends for tips and writing resources, and the one piece of advice they all gave me was to write and write and then write some more. Of course, we can all improve in the craft and skill of writing, but to get into the mindset of writer, you have to write! So, this month www.exemplifyonline.com has given me the perfect opportunity to get back into a regular blogging habit. Throughout the month of December Exemplify is hosting:and I will be participating! Ok, so here is the schedule of events for "Exemplify's Christmas Spectacular!" that I will doing: [For a full listing of scheduled events or to get involved please www.exemplifyonline.com] Tuesday, December 1

Thursday, December 3

Friday, December 4

Friday, December 11

Thursday, December 17

Tuesday, December 22

I hope you enjoy the holiday fun around The Process of Exchange over the next few weeks! Don't forget to sign-up for your FREE subscription to www.exemplifyonline.com online magazine! My first article is being published on December 3, 2009...HINT, HINT! -Alison

Procastinitus - it's a technical term

I've recently begun writing for another project that is not blog related (more details to come in the future). It is the first time I've had a writing deadline since college, and last week I was not coping well with the pressure. I felt like I hit a wall. Not just any wall either. It felt like the Great Wall of China. I had writer's block, procastinitus (read: procrastination issues), and a major case of "oh crap, what did I get myself into?". Have you ever been in that place before?

Each time I sat down to write it felt like steel doors closed off the part of my brain that supplies creativity. Every time I would get an idea, it remained just that, an idea. I was beyond frustrated and my deadline was looming in the near future. My thoughts were a mess and I was definitely buying into the lies I was hearing and saying to myself. You know the usual suspects, so they don't warrant repeating. I have a theory that the devil has only a few tricks that he spins 1,000 different ways. Let's face it, either we're stupid or he's an amazing liar. Maybe it's a bit of both? ha!

So there I sat having a nice little pity party. Fortunately, I have great friends. Michele talked me down from the "I can't/don't want to do it!" whining ledge, Shelby gave me some awesome writing tips to help me think from a different perspective, Jen was my resident proof-reader/encourager, and my Bible study girls were interceding for me the 2 weeks leading up to the deadline.

The true turning point came when I was reading through my twitter feed. Michele re-tweeted Rev Run and it so hit home for me:

RT @RevRunWisdom if youre under attack, its because your blessing is CLOSE! Thieves only come to loaded vaults!

At that moment my prayer changed from "God I can't" to "God, I know you having something to say through me. Please give me the words to say." I found that place of believing the truth about what God was telling me of him being able no matter if I feel like I can or not. How quickly I forget that he is God and that my battle is that the devil doesn't want God's truth to be made public.

What are you giving up because it seems too difficult? Are you willing to take that first step into your destiny even though it feels like you're walking naked onto a stage?

One last question for the writers out there. What is your writing process? All help for this novice writer is great appreciated!!

Hi, again...

So, it seems like I am incapable of blogging on the regular, but I think I'm OK with that. 1) I don't need to and shouldn't post every little thing that happens and 2) I like this no pressure blogging thing I have going on right now.

I don't really have much to say tonight other than God is so faithful. I have a lot of dreams for my life that I've tucked away because the timing has not been right yet. Friends, one of those dreams is in motion. I'm in the first steps on a path I've wanted to walk for a long time. I don't want to go into too much detail right now, but as soon as I can, I will be posting about it all!

Oh yeah! Just something fun is that I will be getting my very first business card today and in a couple of weeks I'll be going on my first business trip. By myself. I love traveling on someone else's dollar! ;)

Remembering and Suggesting

This morning as I read through the blogs I subscribe to, I was not surprised to see several 9/11 memorials. Like most, I too remember where I was and what I was doing as the events unfolded. It's something that's hard to forget. My memory of that day is in flashes of words and emotion. "Did you hear about the plane crash?" my classmate whispered to me as the Professor of our Middle Eastern Civilization class began his lecture. "Florida State University has been closed due to the events of the morning..." were words I read in my inbox from the University President. "The planes that crashed into the World Trade Towers this morning were done in an act of terrorism..." is what I heard on the news. "Alison, I saw the second plane crash live while watching GMA." is what my mom told me when she called to check on me that morning. "What's going to happen?" were the panicked words I asked back. I could go on about the words I remember, but the emotion of the day is what has stuck with me the most. I grew up a little bit more that day with a greater appreciation for the fragility of a life that isn't guaranteed. I think it was the first time my generation realized that our country is not invincible. Those of us born in the 80's and 90's had no personal memory of our country in crisis. We had been through Desert Storm as kids and even lost family & friends over there, but our home soil was never compromised like it was on 9/11. I didn't lose anyone on that day eight years ago, but I still grieved. I grieved for my friends that did lose family and for those that didn't yet know if their loved one had been found. I grieved for the collective loss of innocence of my generation. I grieved for those who died without knowing God. I just simply grieved. Today, though, I thankful. Thankful for my life, thankful for the men and women that sacrifice themselves for the safety of my country, thankful for a better perspective on finding security in my relationship with God. Just plain thankful. Let's end this post on a lighter note though! I don't participate in Follow Friday on Twitter, but I would be remiss if I didn't share with you three of my favorite blogs! Amy Beth @ www.ministrysofabulous.com has me laughing out loud on a daily basis. Especially this week with her British boy and her Ryan Gosling look-a-like friend Nicholas! Ree @ www.thepioneerwoman.com has some of the BEST recipes with loads of pictures of the food, and even tells her story going from a city woman to marrying a cowboy and living on a working ranch! Annie @ www.hootenannie.com - priceless sense of humor...that's all that needs to be said. Hope you enjoy them as much as I do! -Alison

Since May 18

Ok, so this unplanned 3 month blog hiatus was glorious! I have had the opportunity to be a part of some very incredible (and fun!) events in the lives of family and friends.

The hiatus kicked off with Stephanie's annual Memorial Day visit to me! This year did not disappoint (as it never does). Well...ok, so there was a minor blip at the beginning of the weekend when my body decided to revolt and gave me a fever/chills/kidney infection. BUT thanks to the great team at my Dr's office, they got me feeling better in no time at all! Thanks Steph for putting up with my sick-self and making the rest of the weekend so much fun :) She was then off to interview for an amazing job in a new city so she can be a part of a church plant....of course she got the job! Who want this girl on their team?!

Next up was my nephew's pre-school graduation. Believe me. pre-k graduation was big news around here with most of his family living in our city AND he is the first grandkid/nephew on both sides of the family. Let me tell you, this boy is LOVED!

Of course I can't mention the nephew without mentioning the niece! You cannot deny her cuteness factor. You just cant. I mean, I will not allow you to deny it. She'll be 5 months this month and is lovingly nicknamed The Princess. She is turning into one girly little girl! The apple does not fall far from the "Auntie Tree" or so my sister in-law tells me ;)

Now, this next event is what really made this whole hiatus glorious. My best friend went and got married to the man of her dreams and I had the privilege of being her Maid of Honor! (Thankfully, those duties were shared with her Matron of Honor and my very dear friend, Amy.) The whole weekend was such a great reminder of expecting and waiting for God's best in all areas of life. Shelby and Tanner's wedding was probably the most emotional/God-filled wedding I have ever been to. You could not deny their love or that they are perfect for each other. Not to mention they're both absolutely beautiful people! You should seriously check out their photos here and then immediately hire Jen McDonald for your next event.

While at Shelby and Tanner's wedding (or affectionately known as Shanner) my brother turned the big 3-0! He is certainly handsome, a great husband and an amazing dad. Love you big-bro!

Just call me world-traveler because exactly 24 hours after I got home from Shelby and Tanner's wedding, I hopped on a plane for France. Yes, France! I went there for my step-sister's wedding. Talk about wedding-palooza. Two in one week, but I wasn't in this one. I just got to attend and enjoy the beauty that is Nice, France. It really was one of the most gorgeous places I have ever been in my life. While there I stayed in a villa (with views of the Mediterranean from my room), was a part of a wedding scavenger hunt that took us all over old town Nice and through some ruins, climbed to the top of Eze Village, walked the streets of Monaco, bought food in an Italian open air Market, dipped my toes in the Mediterranean Sea, spent some quality time with my Dad & family, ate some of the best food I have ever consumed, and witnessed my sister marry her man in one of the most beautiful settings ever. (you check out my photos on facebook)

Even though I had a spectacular time in France, I was thankful to come home and sleep in my own bed! Which is what I did as soon as I crossed the threshold of my room...fell head-first into bed and woke up the next morning for work. Yes, as crazy as it sounds, I actually went to work the morning after I returned from Europe. Would you believe me if I told you that I didn't have jet lag? Well, you should because it's true. I somehow missed out on the whole jet lag thing both going to and coming home from France. I think I'll take that as confirmation I should travel the world more often.

As if all that wasn't enough to fill 3 months, there's still more! Shortly after my return from Europe I went to my darling nephew's VBS program. Y'all, VBS is a BIG thing at my church. Over 400 kids and over 100 volunteers. It's a HUGE undertaking and it blesses my community on so many levels. What I love about it is that the kids get to learn about God in a fun environment and aren't kids the cutest in music programs? I just love all the waving they do to Moms, Dads, Nanas and Aunties too!

July 4th was something I was looking forward to because it meant a day off from work AND going to visit my good friend Angela in central Florida. We walked 3 miles (6 miles round trip) to and from the July 4th festival, ate lots of Tijuana Flats, visited with college buddies I haven't seen in a long time, shopped, and went to her church (her pastor is 7ft tall!).

Think I'm done? Not quite....my next adventure was tubing down the Ichetucknee River with a group from my church....highlight of the tubing adventure? Passing a woman in her tube that got the rear of swimsuit caught on something under the water...ha!

Alright, now to cap off the three month glorious adventure of a blog hiatus with a trip to my dad's for a quick weekend visit. We ate Thai food from Thai Nana (the BEST Thai food ever), went out on the boat, anchored at an island and swam for awhile, took the niece into the Gulf for the first time, looked for shells with the nephew, saw Mama Mia and sang Abba songs with several hundred other show-goers, and relaxed at the house before we had to make the trek back home.

I think I've done enough to fill a year, but I would do it all over again. For sure. I have no clue what the next 3 months holds other than family, friends, work, zumba, reading, church life and hoping in God. If that's all I get, I'll be full. Although, I have a feeling there is more to be had than that. We will see, wont we? :o)

-Ali

Getting to know you...

Found one of my new favorite quotes today: (ht: Brad Ruggles)

"To live by grace means to acknowledge my whole life story, the light side and the dark. In admitting my shadow side I learn who I am and what God’s grace means. As Thomas Merton put it, ‘A saint is not someone who is good but who experiences the goodness of God.’" -Brennan Manning

Ruminate on that one for a bit. I did. Made me realize that my past should not produce shame, but produce more grace because it brings a better understanding of the Grace of God. Had a paradigm shift today that I wasn't quite expecting, but when do we ever really expect our personal paradigm to be shifted? --------------------------------------- I've been spending time thinking about what it is I want to do with my life. Most days I feel stuck in neutral and that what is comfortable and safe is best. Cognitively, I know that comfort and safety usually means I'm not taking the kind of risks that can bring about some of life's most amazing results. It's that first risky step that can be one of the hardest for me. --------------------------------------- My nephew and niece were dedicated at church a few weeks ago! This is where I think my church is on point...waiting for baptism until it is the decision of the individual to follow Jesus. Can you see the cute little bow on my nieces head?! I cannot wait to play dress-up when she gets older! --------------------------------------- My work/work-out buddy moved away! Her husband got a promotion (which is especially amazing in this economy) and they couldn't pass it up. Even though it meant moving to Oklahoma! The only upside to co-workers moving away is the cake at the goodbye party. This time around did NOT disappoint! You can't go wrong with a Publix chocolate cake with raspberry filling and butter cream icing. --------------------------------------- Since I don't know my readers...why don't you tell me about yourself! Name: Location: Favorite blog topic to read about: If you could be any animal, what would you be and why? I love this blog, but would love your interaction even more! Some of my new favorite people I have met through blogs, twitter, and other online resources. Lets be friends :)

ABC's

So, over on facebook people are doing the "ABC's of Me" in their notes and tagging people. If you want to do it, cool. If not, that's ok too. :) A - Age: 27 B - Bed size: Full, there is not a real need for something bigger right now ;) C - Chore you hate: Cleaning the bathroom! D - Dog's name: Never had a puppy....it will be one of the first things I buy when I get my own place one day. E - Essential start your day item: Shower F - Favorite colour: Pink G - Gold or Silver: Gold H - Height: 5ft 6in I - Instruments you play: none and I find that quite tragic J - Job title: Assistant to the Dean K - Kid: None yet ... but I do have a nephew and a niece! L - Living arrangements: share a house with my mom....she makes a pretty great roommate :) M - Mom's name: Leslie N - Nicknames: Ali, Al, Sis, Auntie, Ali-bird, A-lee-sahn O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: None! P - Pet Peeve: Assuming....you know what is does Q - Quote from a movie: The love between a man and a woman is holy too. Just because you love a man doesnt mean you love God any less. God gave you that love and it's up to you to figue out how to spend it. - The Sound of Music (not verbatim, but you get the picture) R - Right or left handed: righty S - Siblings: 1 brother, 1 sis in-law, 2 step-sisters, 2 step-brothers in-law T- Time you wake up: 6.30ish U- Underwear: is necessary. V - Vegetable you dislike: Okra...yuck W - Ways you run late: underestimating the time I need to get everything done in the morning. X - X-rays you've had: Teeth, arms, foot, leg Y - Yummy food you make: I make lots of yummy things to eat! My current favorite are pumpkin cookies Z - Zoo favorite: Elephants, monkeys, giraffes, zebras....i like them all

To be honest...

I have to be honest...I wish bloggers blogged more on the weekend, or at least scheduled more posts to be published, if they don't want to actually write on their time off. Why? Because I have more time to actually read and respond.

I guess I could star in my reader the ones I want to comment on, but I'm more of an in the moment commenter.

Just something to consider :)

8 Things

Christy had this on her blog today and I was sorta tagged so I am doing it for fun :) 8 Things Here's how 8 THINGS works:- Mention the person that tagged you.- Complete the lists of 8's.- Tag 8 of your wonderful bloggy friends.- Go tell them you tagged them! 8 THINGS I LOOK FORWARD TO: 1. Spending time with my family on mother's day 2. Shelby's bachelorette party/ bridal shower extravaganza! 3. Shelby and Tanner's Wedding 4. Lindsay and Jason's wedding in France! 5. Stephanie visiting for Memorial Day weekend 6. Shopping for my upcoming trips and parties 7. Getting a new Vera Bradley 8. Reading a new book 8 THINGS I DID YESTERDAY: 1. Laundry 2. Worked 3. Went to lunch with a co-worker 4. Went to a meeting 5. Read a few blogs 6. Chatted with friends 7. Almost got a free trip to London for work (don't ask, I can't tell) (you know I like to be cryptic) 8. Went to the Dentist - NO CAVITIES! 8 THINGS I WISH I COULD DO: 1. Travel the world :) 2. Read for a living 3. Own a bookstore. 4. Work in a Library 5. Visit my friends all over the country 6. Go to the beach every day 7. Write a book 8. Knit 8 SHOWS I WATCH: 1. The Biggest Loser 2. So You Think You Can Dance 3. Dancing with the Stars 4. Ugly Betty 5. America's Next Top Model 6. What Not to Wear 7. Kings 8. Millionaire Matchmaker 8 BLOGGERS TAGGED: YOU! If you are reading this you must partake of some 8 Things Fun :)

Little Sickie

So, my Daily Peeks have slowed down a bit due to me being a sickie for the past week. Really, who wants to see my POV of that? But here it is in a nutshell anyway:

Sleep, read, sleep, watch a movie, medicate, eat a little something, sleep, read, medicate, go to the doctor, sleep, medicate, read, eat, sleep...you get the picture. I'm actually cuddled up in my bed as we speak I type recouping from the days work. I don't have a physically strenuous job, but after spending basically 4 days in bed, it wiped me out.

Let's leave this on a high note - cause Jonathan has inspired me to give good news more than bad news - and no he doesn't twitter or blog.

Ok, the good stuff, there's only FIVE WEEKS until France! haha ok, so that's braggy good news.

Alright, the real stuff....my niece and nephew were dedicated at church on Sunday! It was such a special thing to be a part of that service and to hear the blessings prayed over their lives. God is working is some serious ways around here.

Bloggy readers, thanks for being my cuddle buddy this evening. Count yourself lucky; not many get that privilege. ;o)

Daily Peek 5-2-09

Oo La La! Another invite came in the mail today for certain friend's pre-wedding bridal shower/bachelorette party! It's going to be a fun time! If only you knew the antics we have up our sleeve for that night. Wait, maybe you don't want to know... The results of the party will most likely not be published on the interwebs. We don't ruin your innocent eyes. ha!

Daily Peek 4-29-09

Wednesdays have turned into one of my favorite days of the week. Not only does it signal the half-way mark to the weekend, but it is also the night that I get to spend an hour with 40+ 4th and 5th graders during children's choir. Do you know what's even better? I get to teach a new craft project to a group of them every! You KNOW how much I love crafts, and to share that with these kids is pure joy for me! This week, however, I was able to put some of my other skills to use. For the past semester, all of the age groups have been practicing for the BIG end of the year musical. So, this week, all of the choirs got together to practice the choreography, and yours truly got to run the lyrics from the gorgeous tech suite. Friends, my love of technology rivals my love of crafts. "Yes, I love technology, but not as much as you, you see. Always and forever!" Kip, Napoleon Dynamite

More Than a Daily Peek

Since it has been an exorbitant amount of time since I've given a proper update, you get the bulleted highlighs of my life since December.

• I turned 27 and officially entered my "late twenties"....can we say that's just unbelievable? If you know my story, then you know I didn't quite plan for this age.
• My oldest friend got married on Valentines Day, and I was a bridesmaid. Now, don't get me wrong, I was honored and am a big fan of Valentine's Day, but as a single lady...salt in the relational wound. I had to pray some of the infamous Michele's words "Jesus be a fence AND a shield for the bride from her single bridesmaids."
• While at my dad's house, for said Valentines Day wedding, I also found out I'm going to France for a week in June. Thank you Lindsay and Jason for planning a destination wedding in the South of France!
• My bff, Shelby, got engaged to the man of her dreams. Friends, this man did it right! It included a day at the spa, a mansion and a hidden photographer. Thank God her man and I get along really well too! Seriously, how awkward would that be to not like your bff's hubby? Tanner, I'm so glad to be adding you in my life! Did I mention I get to the maid of honor along with my friend Amy?! So excited to play this part!
• I have a new niece and I fell in love on first sight. She. is. beautiful!
• The family Easter brunch was incredible and my brother made the mother of all grits. Let's just say, I did not even like grits until he made them for me. If you ever have me over for breakfast I promise to make them for you! It's now a family recipe, so there will be no recipe sharing this time...sorry!
• Alexander, the world's cutest, sweetest, kindest nephews officially weighs too much to be picked up and is a head taller than all the other kids in his pre-k class. He's 5 people, FIVE! Um, he will be large and in charge when he's a man.
• I'm contemplating some major changes that would include a significant amount of transition time and $$. Lord help me because I like to be on solid ground at all times. Pray for me :)
• No, this would not include ANOTHER move...I'm quite happy in my coastal town.
• Yes, I like being cryptic.
• I now love sci-fi and fantasy novels. I mean really LOVE. I know, right? So not me, but so much more food for the imagination! I can't even read another genre right now. Go here and here and here and here for some of my favorites.
• I am considering giving up my data/internet plan for my phone ::gasp::... wait for it..... to downsize my spending. Although, that change will not take place until after my transatlantic journey.
• In turn, I will most likely give up twitter too.
• I quit my part-time job and have my weekends back! I miss the extra $$, but now I am free for weekend roadtrips....any takers? Let me know.
• Finally, as of last night's workout, I can not raise my arms above my head or bend over. I may have over done it.

Now that you have your little update, I must tell you that I have a new blog installment called Daily Peek. However, it wont quite be an every day thing. Some days are definitely not noteworthy... like the days I wake-up, work, go home, eat dinner, read and go to bed. This installment is more for me than anyone else. I have a bad habit of forgetting what has happened in my life ;o) Hence, the uber cheesy bulleted highlighted update above.

Love and cheerios,

A

(ht: AB for the Daily Peek idea)

Daily Peek 4.27.09

It finally came in the mail! The invitation to FRANCE! In case you missed the memo, I'm going to the South of France for a wedding this summer. :oD It is my first trip to Europe and it is exactly the place I have dreamed of going. I don't really care if I ever see Paris, and I have a feeling it doesn't even compare to the seaside villages of Villefranche-sur-mer. Now all I need to do is learn some French...dont want to offend the locals by assuming they know English (even though I've been well assured that most people I encounter will speak my language). I do not want to give the people of France another reason to not like Americans ;o)

Daily Peek 4.25.09

::sigh:: Today was such a bitter-sweet day. A part of my job, that I don't particularly like, is having to say goodbye to my students. This year however was extra sad because my work study student graduated. He has actually worked in my office longer than I have! He started out as my student and left as my friend. I am so proud of his accomplishment and can't wait to see how his life grows and changes over the coming months and years. The sweet part of the day is that another Commencement Ceremony is done and actually went really well! All of the bosses are happy, the students are excited about their future, and I can finally get caught up on the mountain of work on my desk.

Part 2: A Weight-y History

In Part 1: The Theme, I introduced you to my life theme of struggling with my weight. In Part 2 I hope to bring you up to speed in order to move forward with discussing the connection between my weight and my Process of Exchange.

A Weight-y History:

1989-1990 - 2nd grade - the first time I felt insecure about my weight when the smaller girls didn't want to teeter-totter with me. I had to teeter-totter with the other chubby kid in the class.

1990-1992 - 3rd/4th grade - Got serious about dance lessons. Made the competition team, and started comparing my body to my team mates' bodies. Leotards and tights are not an insecure girls best friend.

1992-1993 - 5th grade - auditioned with my friends for The Nutcracker. Friends were cast as "party children" and got to wear pretty dresses. I was cast as a rat because I was too big to fit the 'party children' dress. That was traumatic for my 10 year old self.

1993-1994 - 6th grade - puberty, angsty pre-teen drama and the death of my granddad = me eating my emotions and then mom signing me up for Weight Watchers for the first time. Also began Pointe lessons (along with my usual ballet, tap and jazz classes) and got praise from my teacher for how skinny I was getting.

1994-1995 - 7th grade - joined the JV Basketball team at school because there were no cuts that year (ha!) and I wanted to stay in shape. Was still on Weight Watchers, still taking 4 dance classes a week, and spending all day on Saturdays rehearsing for the competition dance team. Got too skinny, and friend's parents made some wrong assumptions about my eating habits.

1995-1996 - 8th grade - Gained Weight Watchers lifetime membership, and quit because I didn't "need" it anymore. Also, quit dancing for the basketball team. Off season hit me hard with a big weight gain and a resurgence of insecurity. 1996-2000 - High School - Moved to a new city, went to public school for the first time, had to find a personal style {no more uniforms!}, had to make new friends, joined a killer basketball team {and therefore rode the JV bench}, and was introduced to my first love. Through all of this managed to hide my massive insecurity behind the excuse of being shy, but had to face my insecurity when I was dating my boyfriend. Funny how love/infatuation brings a lot to the surface. Ultimately, insecurity won and I left him right before I went away to College. The whole "reject you before you reject me" thing. It's always a mistake to make decisions based on insecurity. 2000-2004 - College - Yo-yoed my way through college trying many different combinations of dieting, not eating, exercising, drinking too much, not drinking at all, and eating too much. Threw myself into church and religion trying to find security. Made some amazing life-friends, pushed away some important people, ultimately learned how to trust God, and how to find my security in Jesus not in external things. 2004-2007 - Beginning Adult Life - While I understood that security comes from Jesus, I still struggled with sef-acceptance and ballooned up to my heaviest weight ever. Those three years held some of the biggest decisions I had to make on my own. Went to ministry school, built a financial support team, resigned my ministry position before I ever got to my post, moved back to Tallahassee and took a job as a personal assistant to a real estate agent (turns out I'm pretty good at being someone's right hand woman), discovered a newness in my relationship with God, and felt like God was calling me away from Tallahassee. All in the period of 6 weeks I realized He was taking me back to St. Augustine, interviewed & the got the job in St. Aug, and moved 2 weeks later. Throughout all of the changes, the only thing that remained constant was my increasing weight and the knowledge that God had so much more than what I was living at that time.

To say the least, I dealt with change by controlling my food. While many people control their food by limiting their intake, I increased mine because it was the opposite of what others wanted me to do. What I didn't see was that I was only messing myself up and no one else. Not only did this yo-yo diet pattern have physical affects, it had some spiritual affects that I did not anticipate.

Coming up next in Part 3 I'll talk about life since moving to St. Augustine and begin connecting my life theme to how it has affected my relationship with God.

If you have any questions along the way, please ask! :)

Part 1: The Theme

It's been awhile since I've written about my Process of Exchange, but have no doubt, I am still walking through it.

During the past 6 months I have spent quite a bit of time reflecting on my life story. I love that God gives us each a unique story and destiny, and it's been fun discovering how God has been moving throughout my personal history.

One of my biggest life themes has been my struggle with my weight. What I am now realizing is how this struggle is directly connected to my perception of my relationship with God. I always vaguely knew that the 2 are connected, but it wasn't until recently that the connection has become concrete.

Up next in Part 2: The Weight-y History, I'll bring you up to speed before I talk about how my weight plays into my Process of Exchange.

Dirty Girls

A new friend, Crystal Renaud, is undertaking the monumental task of shedding light onto a dark spot...the secret world of female porn addicts. She is in the beginning stages of writing a book titled Dirty Girls: The New Porn Addicts, and she has set up the website http://www.thenewpornaddicts.com/ to collect data on this hidden population. It is chock-full with info about the project, her story, 3 different surveys, a confessional and a bunch of other stuff.

If you are a woman or know women (which is everyone) please visit her site TODAY! It's about time that the shame and secrecy is lifted so women can begin experiencing true redemtion and FREEDOM!

I am also asking that you add her widget to your site/blog (which can be found here), post a link on your facebook and twitter your face off about her site!

Please take some time to navigate the website and tell all your friends, family, and maybe even people you don't know about it!

Thanks!

Alison

PS. below is everything you need to know to participate in this project!

- - - - - - ABOUT CRYSTAL RENAUD

Crystal Renaud is a twenty-four year old writer and communications professional living in the Kansas City area. Crystal is on staff at Westside Family Church in Lenexa, KS. She has spent much of the last 12-18 months voluntarily counseling women with sexual addiction through the use of her own story and under the supervision and mentorship of licensed Biblical counselors. Her writings can be found on her blog of almost 5 years, pinkhairedgirl.net.Read Crystal's Porn Story

- - - - - - ABOUT DIRTY GIRLS Dirty Girls is a book that will discuss the widespread, yet silent battle women are facing with pornography addiction. Surveys are being conducted at TheNewPornAddicts.com for women presently addicted to pornography, for women who have overcome a pornography addiction and for friends, family and accountability partners of women addicted to pornography.

Through analyzing surveys, as well as conducting interviews with those who have been affected by pornography, author Crystal Renaud will use her personal story of redemption and Biblical and practical tools for recovery, to show women they are not alone in their battle and the hope that freedom from a pornography addiction is possible. More can be found at TheNewPornAddicts.com.

- - - - - - SO, WHAT SURVEY DO I TAKE? If you are a woman who is currently addicted to pornography, please take the first survey. If you are a woman who has overcome an addiction to pornography, please take the second survey. If you are friend, family member or accountability partner of a woman who is currently or formerly addicted to pornography, please take the third survey.

- - - - - -

YOUR INFORMATION IS SAFE Although it is not required, in order to make this survey as verifiable and legit as possible, I ask that you please provide your name and contact information. The information you provide will not be sold or distributed in any way ... to anyone. Data is password protected and the only person who holds the key to this information is myself.

Please be honest throughout this survey. The data will be strategically analyzed and used in a general method of support in the book. If you have questions or concerns about taking a survey, please do not hesitate to contact me (http://www.thenewpornaddicts.com/contact.html).

- - - - - - HELPFUL LINKS About: http://www.thenewpornaddicts.com/about.html

Crystal's blog: http://www.pinkhairedgirl.net/

Crystal's story: http://www.thenewpornaddicts.com/crystal.html

Surveys: http://www.thenewpornaddicts.com/surveys.html

Confessional: http://www.thenewpornaddicts.com/confess.html

A little less melancholy

I admit that my last post was very introspective and melancholy. Thank God that is not my standard operating system! While I think it is good to reflect, I think it's even better to move forward and use the revelations that come with a good dose of introspection. Since it is late on a Friday night, I am having trouble stringing my thoughts together in a way that is enjoyable to read. Instead, you are getting my "25 Random Things About Me" 1. I'm 1/2 Native American...my Dad is the Native 2. My mom, brother and I were all born on the 13th day of different months 3. I LOVE, seriously LOVE, fantasy/sci-fi fiction novels. Twilight saga, Chronicles of Narnia, A Wrinkle in Time, etc. If you know me, it is kinda anti-type for me ha! 4. I'm a closet computer geek. 5. In the future, I want a job that surrounds me with really good books. 6. I lived in Los Angeles for 6 crazy months. 7. I was on a competition Dance team for 8 years. Tap was my specialty. 8. I'm addicted to endorphins....seriously yall. 9. I have a hard time turning down anything sweet....makes me exercise my self-control muscle. 10. I'm a vegetarian of the lacto-ovo-pesca sort. google it. 11. I'm still friends with girls I met in pre-school. 12. I'm a fan of the show Paranormal State. It's different than those ghost hunter shows. They help people get rid of whatever spirit/demon is in their home. Pretty cool stuff. 13. The supernatural/paranormal fascinates me 14. I'm a Google Reader addict. 15. I love Vera Bradley bags! Not all patterns, but I have my favorites. It's definitely a southern thang. 16. I made a lot of the jewelry you see me wear 17. I have stacks of books around my room....i need wall to wall shelves. 18. I only make my bed when company is coming over. 19. My morning routine hardly ever changes. If I do things out of order I almost always forget to put on deodorant. I forget nothing but that! ha! 20. I really enjoy watching people open gifts I get them! 21. I would rather wear a dress instead of pants to work, but you'll always find me in jeans on the weekends. 22. Diet Dr. Pepper is my favorite soda...and I prefer fountain soda to canned or bottled. 23. I buy my bread at the local farmer's market on Saturdays 24. Twitter...everyone needs a twitter! twitter.com/AlisonLHunt 25. My favorite movie is I Am Sam

Grief

Sorrow is better than laughter, 

for sadness has a refining influence on us.

Ecclesiastes 7:3

I've been thinking a lot today.  Thinking about what it is I want out of this life I've been given and chastising myself for just floating through the days as if I have time to spare.  My days {our days} are numbered.  There is no room for waste.  No room to be someone I am not and do not want to be.  

I have to admit {and am ashamed to say} that I have done many things based on the convictions of others.   Not bad things, but not good things either...hurtful things, beautiful things, irrevocable things BUT things not of my own conviction.  Now I am left wondering what I have missed while looking through the lens of another person.  Only seeing what I've bee told to see.

Reclaiming my vision has given me new colors to marvel, new emotions to process, excitement {once mistaken as anxiety}, the ability to really see {for the first time} really see people and more questions than I ever knew fill my mind.  It has also left me more than a little sad for what I let go in the quest to be someone I am not.  

Knowing that some things cannot be salvaged, how does a woman move past what could have {should have} been to what IS?  I think I'll begin by grieving the loss of something truly beautiful, something I would do almost anything to reclaim if I could, and ask God to hold me tight while we work it through.  Hopefully, learning along the way how to trust God with the ashes of my grief and replace it with something much more beautiful than I know to desire.   

Even though I grieve, I know God is still who He says He is.  He never changes; He cannot be persuaded; He is never derailed.  His purposes always prevail, and I'm counting on that to be true.  

God's constancy is my peace tonight.