More Than a Daily Peek

Since it has been an exorbitant amount of time since I've given a proper update, you get the bulleted highlighs of my life since December.

• I turned 27 and officially entered my "late twenties"....can we say that's just unbelievable? If you know my story, then you know I didn't quite plan for this age.
• My oldest friend got married on Valentines Day, and I was a bridesmaid. Now, don't get me wrong, I was honored and am a big fan of Valentine's Day, but as a single lady...salt in the relational wound. I had to pray some of the infamous Michele's words "Jesus be a fence AND a shield for the bride from her single bridesmaids."
• While at my dad's house, for said Valentines Day wedding, I also found out I'm going to France for a week in June. Thank you Lindsay and Jason for planning a destination wedding in the South of France!
• My bff, Shelby, got engaged to the man of her dreams. Friends, this man did it right! It included a day at the spa, a mansion and a hidden photographer. Thank God her man and I get along really well too! Seriously, how awkward would that be to not like your bff's hubby? Tanner, I'm so glad to be adding you in my life! Did I mention I get to the maid of honor along with my friend Amy?! So excited to play this part!
• I have a new niece and I fell in love on first sight. She. is. beautiful!
• The family Easter brunch was incredible and my brother made the mother of all grits. Let's just say, I did not even like grits until he made them for me. If you ever have me over for breakfast I promise to make them for you! It's now a family recipe, so there will be no recipe sharing this time...sorry!
• Alexander, the world's cutest, sweetest, kindest nephews officially weighs too much to be picked up and is a head taller than all the other kids in his pre-k class. He's 5 people, FIVE! Um, he will be large and in charge when he's a man.
• I'm contemplating some major changes that would include a significant amount of transition time and $$. Lord help me because I like to be on solid ground at all times. Pray for me :)
• No, this would not include ANOTHER move...I'm quite happy in my coastal town.
• Yes, I like being cryptic.
• I now love sci-fi and fantasy novels. I mean really LOVE. I know, right? So not me, but so much more food for the imagination! I can't even read another genre right now. Go here and here and here and here for some of my favorites.
• I am considering giving up my data/internet plan for my phone ::gasp::... wait for it..... to downsize my spending. Although, that change will not take place until after my transatlantic journey.
• In turn, I will most likely give up twitter too.
• I quit my part-time job and have my weekends back! I miss the extra $$, but now I am free for weekend roadtrips....any takers? Let me know.
• Finally, as of last night's workout, I can not raise my arms above my head or bend over. I may have over done it.

Now that you have your little update, I must tell you that I have a new blog installment called Daily Peek. However, it wont quite be an every day thing. Some days are definitely not noteworthy... like the days I wake-up, work, go home, eat dinner, read and go to bed. This installment is more for me than anyone else. I have a bad habit of forgetting what has happened in my life ;o) Hence, the uber cheesy bulleted highlighted update above.

Love and cheerios,

A

(ht: AB for the Daily Peek idea)

Daily Peek 4.27.09

It finally came in the mail! The invitation to FRANCE! In case you missed the memo, I'm going to the South of France for a wedding this summer. :oD It is my first trip to Europe and it is exactly the place I have dreamed of going. I don't really care if I ever see Paris, and I have a feeling it doesn't even compare to the seaside villages of Villefranche-sur-mer. Now all I need to do is learn some French...dont want to offend the locals by assuming they know English (even though I've been well assured that most people I encounter will speak my language). I do not want to give the people of France another reason to not like Americans ;o)

Daily Peek 4.25.09

::sigh:: Today was such a bitter-sweet day. A part of my job, that I don't particularly like, is having to say goodbye to my students. This year however was extra sad because my work study student graduated. He has actually worked in my office longer than I have! He started out as my student and left as my friend. I am so proud of his accomplishment and can't wait to see how his life grows and changes over the coming months and years. The sweet part of the day is that another Commencement Ceremony is done and actually went really well! All of the bosses are happy, the students are excited about their future, and I can finally get caught up on the mountain of work on my desk.

Part 2: A Weight-y History

In Part 1: The Theme, I introduced you to my life theme of struggling with my weight. In Part 2 I hope to bring you up to speed in order to move forward with discussing the connection between my weight and my Process of Exchange.

A Weight-y History:

1989-1990 - 2nd grade - the first time I felt insecure about my weight when the smaller girls didn't want to teeter-totter with me. I had to teeter-totter with the other chubby kid in the class.

1990-1992 - 3rd/4th grade - Got serious about dance lessons. Made the competition team, and started comparing my body to my team mates' bodies. Leotards and tights are not an insecure girls best friend.

1992-1993 - 5th grade - auditioned with my friends for The Nutcracker. Friends were cast as "party children" and got to wear pretty dresses. I was cast as a rat because I was too big to fit the 'party children' dress. That was traumatic for my 10 year old self.

1993-1994 - 6th grade - puberty, angsty pre-teen drama and the death of my granddad = me eating my emotions and then mom signing me up for Weight Watchers for the first time. Also began Pointe lessons (along with my usual ballet, tap and jazz classes) and got praise from my teacher for how skinny I was getting.

1994-1995 - 7th grade - joined the JV Basketball team at school because there were no cuts that year (ha!) and I wanted to stay in shape. Was still on Weight Watchers, still taking 4 dance classes a week, and spending all day on Saturdays rehearsing for the competition dance team. Got too skinny, and friend's parents made some wrong assumptions about my eating habits.

1995-1996 - 8th grade - Gained Weight Watchers lifetime membership, and quit because I didn't "need" it anymore. Also, quit dancing for the basketball team. Off season hit me hard with a big weight gain and a resurgence of insecurity. 1996-2000 - High School - Moved to a new city, went to public school for the first time, had to find a personal style {no more uniforms!}, had to make new friends, joined a killer basketball team {and therefore rode the JV bench}, and was introduced to my first love. Through all of this managed to hide my massive insecurity behind the excuse of being shy, but had to face my insecurity when I was dating my boyfriend. Funny how love/infatuation brings a lot to the surface. Ultimately, insecurity won and I left him right before I went away to College. The whole "reject you before you reject me" thing. It's always a mistake to make decisions based on insecurity. 2000-2004 - College - Yo-yoed my way through college trying many different combinations of dieting, not eating, exercising, drinking too much, not drinking at all, and eating too much. Threw myself into church and religion trying to find security. Made some amazing life-friends, pushed away some important people, ultimately learned how to trust God, and how to find my security in Jesus not in external things. 2004-2007 - Beginning Adult Life - While I understood that security comes from Jesus, I still struggled with sef-acceptance and ballooned up to my heaviest weight ever. Those three years held some of the biggest decisions I had to make on my own. Went to ministry school, built a financial support team, resigned my ministry position before I ever got to my post, moved back to Tallahassee and took a job as a personal assistant to a real estate agent (turns out I'm pretty good at being someone's right hand woman), discovered a newness in my relationship with God, and felt like God was calling me away from Tallahassee. All in the period of 6 weeks I realized He was taking me back to St. Augustine, interviewed & the got the job in St. Aug, and moved 2 weeks later. Throughout all of the changes, the only thing that remained constant was my increasing weight and the knowledge that God had so much more than what I was living at that time.

To say the least, I dealt with change by controlling my food. While many people control their food by limiting their intake, I increased mine because it was the opposite of what others wanted me to do. What I didn't see was that I was only messing myself up and no one else. Not only did this yo-yo diet pattern have physical affects, it had some spiritual affects that I did not anticipate.

Coming up next in Part 3 I'll talk about life since moving to St. Augustine and begin connecting my life theme to how it has affected my relationship with God.

If you have any questions along the way, please ask! :)

Part 1: The Theme

It's been awhile since I've written about my Process of Exchange, but have no doubt, I am still walking through it.

During the past 6 months I have spent quite a bit of time reflecting on my life story. I love that God gives us each a unique story and destiny, and it's been fun discovering how God has been moving throughout my personal history.

One of my biggest life themes has been my struggle with my weight. What I am now realizing is how this struggle is directly connected to my perception of my relationship with God. I always vaguely knew that the 2 are connected, but it wasn't until recently that the connection has become concrete.

Up next in Part 2: The Weight-y History, I'll bring you up to speed before I talk about how my weight plays into my Process of Exchange.

Dirty Girls

A new friend, Crystal Renaud, is undertaking the monumental task of shedding light onto a dark spot...the secret world of female porn addicts. She is in the beginning stages of writing a book titled Dirty Girls: The New Porn Addicts, and she has set up the website http://www.thenewpornaddicts.com/ to collect data on this hidden population. It is chock-full with info about the project, her story, 3 different surveys, a confessional and a bunch of other stuff.

If you are a woman or know women (which is everyone) please visit her site TODAY! It's about time that the shame and secrecy is lifted so women can begin experiencing true redemtion and FREEDOM!

I am also asking that you add her widget to your site/blog (which can be found here), post a link on your facebook and twitter your face off about her site!

Please take some time to navigate the website and tell all your friends, family, and maybe even people you don't know about it!

Thanks!

Alison

PS. below is everything you need to know to participate in this project!

- - - - - - ABOUT CRYSTAL RENAUD

Crystal Renaud is a twenty-four year old writer and communications professional living in the Kansas City area. Crystal is on staff at Westside Family Church in Lenexa, KS. She has spent much of the last 12-18 months voluntarily counseling women with sexual addiction through the use of her own story and under the supervision and mentorship of licensed Biblical counselors. Her writings can be found on her blog of almost 5 years, pinkhairedgirl.net.Read Crystal's Porn Story

- - - - - - ABOUT DIRTY GIRLS Dirty Girls is a book that will discuss the widespread, yet silent battle women are facing with pornography addiction. Surveys are being conducted at TheNewPornAddicts.com for women presently addicted to pornography, for women who have overcome a pornography addiction and for friends, family and accountability partners of women addicted to pornography.

Through analyzing surveys, as well as conducting interviews with those who have been affected by pornography, author Crystal Renaud will use her personal story of redemption and Biblical and practical tools for recovery, to show women they are not alone in their battle and the hope that freedom from a pornography addiction is possible. More can be found at TheNewPornAddicts.com.

- - - - - - SO, WHAT SURVEY DO I TAKE? If you are a woman who is currently addicted to pornography, please take the first survey. If you are a woman who has overcome an addiction to pornography, please take the second survey. If you are friend, family member or accountability partner of a woman who is currently or formerly addicted to pornography, please take the third survey.

- - - - - -

YOUR INFORMATION IS SAFE Although it is not required, in order to make this survey as verifiable and legit as possible, I ask that you please provide your name and contact information. The information you provide will not be sold or distributed in any way ... to anyone. Data is password protected and the only person who holds the key to this information is myself.

Please be honest throughout this survey. The data will be strategically analyzed and used in a general method of support in the book. If you have questions or concerns about taking a survey, please do not hesitate to contact me (http://www.thenewpornaddicts.com/contact.html).

- - - - - - HELPFUL LINKS About: http://www.thenewpornaddicts.com/about.html

Crystal's blog: http://www.pinkhairedgirl.net/

Crystal's story: http://www.thenewpornaddicts.com/crystal.html

Surveys: http://www.thenewpornaddicts.com/surveys.html

Confessional: http://www.thenewpornaddicts.com/confess.html

A little less melancholy

I admit that my last post was very introspective and melancholy. Thank God that is not my standard operating system! While I think it is good to reflect, I think it's even better to move forward and use the revelations that come with a good dose of introspection. Since it is late on a Friday night, I am having trouble stringing my thoughts together in a way that is enjoyable to read. Instead, you are getting my "25 Random Things About Me" 1. I'm 1/2 Native American...my Dad is the Native 2. My mom, brother and I were all born on the 13th day of different months 3. I LOVE, seriously LOVE, fantasy/sci-fi fiction novels. Twilight saga, Chronicles of Narnia, A Wrinkle in Time, etc. If you know me, it is kinda anti-type for me ha! 4. I'm a closet computer geek. 5. In the future, I want a job that surrounds me with really good books. 6. I lived in Los Angeles for 6 crazy months. 7. I was on a competition Dance team for 8 years. Tap was my specialty. 8. I'm addicted to endorphins....seriously yall. 9. I have a hard time turning down anything sweet....makes me exercise my self-control muscle. 10. I'm a vegetarian of the lacto-ovo-pesca sort. google it. 11. I'm still friends with girls I met in pre-school. 12. I'm a fan of the show Paranormal State. It's different than those ghost hunter shows. They help people get rid of whatever spirit/demon is in their home. Pretty cool stuff. 13. The supernatural/paranormal fascinates me 14. I'm a Google Reader addict. 15. I love Vera Bradley bags! Not all patterns, but I have my favorites. It's definitely a southern thang. 16. I made a lot of the jewelry you see me wear 17. I have stacks of books around my room....i need wall to wall shelves. 18. I only make my bed when company is coming over. 19. My morning routine hardly ever changes. If I do things out of order I almost always forget to put on deodorant. I forget nothing but that! ha! 20. I really enjoy watching people open gifts I get them! 21. I would rather wear a dress instead of pants to work, but you'll always find me in jeans on the weekends. 22. Diet Dr. Pepper is my favorite soda...and I prefer fountain soda to canned or bottled. 23. I buy my bread at the local farmer's market on Saturdays 24. Twitter...everyone needs a twitter! twitter.com/AlisonLHunt 25. My favorite movie is I Am Sam

Grief

Sorrow is better than laughter, 

for sadness has a refining influence on us.

Ecclesiastes 7:3

I've been thinking a lot today.  Thinking about what it is I want out of this life I've been given and chastising myself for just floating through the days as if I have time to spare.  My days {our days} are numbered.  There is no room for waste.  No room to be someone I am not and do not want to be.  

I have to admit {and am ashamed to say} that I have done many things based on the convictions of others.   Not bad things, but not good things either...hurtful things, beautiful things, irrevocable things BUT things not of my own conviction.  Now I am left wondering what I have missed while looking through the lens of another person.  Only seeing what I've bee told to see.

Reclaiming my vision has given me new colors to marvel, new emotions to process, excitement {once mistaken as anxiety}, the ability to really see {for the first time} really see people and more questions than I ever knew fill my mind.  It has also left me more than a little sad for what I let go in the quest to be someone I am not.  

Knowing that some things cannot be salvaged, how does a woman move past what could have {should have} been to what IS?  I think I'll begin by grieving the loss of something truly beautiful, something I would do almost anything to reclaim if I could, and ask God to hold me tight while we work it through.  Hopefully, learning along the way how to trust God with the ashes of my grief and replace it with something much more beautiful than I know to desire.   

Even though I grieve, I know God is still who He says He is.  He never changes; He cannot be persuaded; He is never derailed.  His purposes always prevail, and I'm counting on that to be true.  

God's constancy is my peace tonight.

Hope

Tonight I said to God, "Please dont let me be disappointed again!" (with a heavy emphasis on whining and begging), and do you know what His response was?  

"In Me you will never be disappointed".  

Translation: 

"God, I don't think I can handle disappointment again...it will crush me." 

"Alison, put your hope in Me alone.  Everything else fades away except for Me"

"Oh"

Cut to the core by a few words.  

What/who are you putting your hope in today?

tattoos, dreams and unknown bloggers

I'm in a very 'listy' mood this week. Yes, I just made up another word. -I met a girl while I was waiting in line for coffee that had a Latin word tattooed rather largely on the inside of her right forearm. I asked her what the word means and she crossed her arms and said very bitterly, "it means 'I've made mistakes'", and then looked off in the opposite direction. Hindsight is 20/20 because I wish I would have then said "There's forgiveness, you know". I didnt. Opportunity lost. Pray for her. -I had a dream on Monday night set in the 19th century that included proposals, fainting, tears, and lots of dramatics. I love how God entertains me in my sleep! -On that note, my dreaming dry spell is over! Now if only I could get my interpretation chops back in line, I'd be set. -Today I am contemplating for what I am thankful. I want to be prepared for the inevitable Thanksgiving tradition of sharing my Thanksgiving list with the fam. -Dave Barnes is my music of choice for this holiday weekend. I want to book him for a special event that I hope takes place sometime in my life. I wonder how much are his booking fees... -My current list of favorite 'not personally known to me' bloggers is as follows: Maundering Pondering All These Things Flowerdust.net Lynse Leanne Matt, Liz and Madeline Pinkhairedgirl.net Ragamuffin Soul Whitaker Woman OK, enough listiness for today.