A Surface Impression

im·pres·sion [im-presh-uhn] –noun 1. a strong effect produced on the intellect, feelings, conscience, etc. 2. the first and immediate effect of an experience or perception upon the mind; sensation. 3. the effect produced by an agency or influence. 4. a notion, remembrance, belief, etc., often of a vague or indistinct nature: He had a general impression of lights, voices, and the clinking of silver. 5. a mark, indentation, figure, etc., produced by pressure. 6. an image in the mind caused by something external to it. 7. the act of impressing; state of being impressed. Everyone holds an impression of the people in their lives. Whether it is a true impression or just a surface impression, matters not in the mind of the holder. When asked by a co-worker how I am doing, and my boss interjects, in reference to my performance, 'She's doing wonderful, that's how she's doing!', I can't help but feel I've duped him. You see, in my mind I give about 60% effort in my job. Terrible, I know, but that's how I feel. My current job is not my dream career, and it affects my personal performance in my tasks. In all honesty, what my boss means as a compliment has hit home as a conviction to my mediocre work ethic. It makes me wonder what he would say if I gave 100%. Maybe just dreaming about that dream job is not enough. Maybe I should be working as I would be in my dream job by doing my tasks with a concerted and excited effort. I don't want to just impress people. I want to live a 100% real and forthcoming life.