The Art of Discretion
Lately I've been learning the art if discretion, and trying to find the balance between my personal and public/online life. It is one of the main reasons my blogging has been inconsistent, at best, over the years.
Discretion is the combination of discernment and wisdom...
The book of Proverbs in the Bible has so much to say about wisdom and discernment. Over and over it says to not let the words of wisdom depart from your sight, tie them around your neck, wear them as an adornment, and to keep them in the midst of your heart. {See Proverbs 3-5}
Discernment and wisdom are two of things I pray for the most. They are also the two things I am continually tested on...makes sense though, right? How will I know how much I've learned unless I've been tested?
How Much Is Too Much?
I love to use social media like twitter and facebook, but how much is too much information to put out there for all the world to access? At what point do life's details become cheapened when they are put in a status update for hundreds of people to see at the same time? What does it say to my friends about how I value them when they have to find out major life's details online and not from a personal contact?
These questions are not just limited to social media. They can be applied "real life" (aka, not my online life). For example, does everyone at church or work really need to know where I was last weekend or the details of my relationship? Probably not. Do my family and close friends get more details of my life? Most definitely! Accountability is a good part of life. It helps keep me from crossing over into the darkness of life.
It's Not Just About Me {re: selfishness is never a good look}
I tend to tell just about anything to anyone who asks because I get so excited about what is going on and what God is doing. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's not just about me anymore. It never really has been, but even more so now that I have a boyfriend, I need to learn how to share without over-sharing. He has been the major catalyst for growing in discretion. There's something to be said for allowing myself to treasure the details and learning the right way to express my life. Journal = details; blog = broad strokes; facebook/twitter = random updates & a means for communication with friends.
More Questions Than Answers
The goal I am trying to accomplish is to honor all of my relationships by considering how they would feel about being a part of my online story sharing. Have you ever stopped to think about that before now? I sure haven't.
How do you remain honest with your life on your blog without over-sharing? Do you set boundaries about what is OK to write about? Do you talk with the people in your life about their privacy standards?
I do know that there are people on all sides of this issue and that I have very few answers to my questions. So, while I'm trying to figure this out for myself, feel free to comment with advice, wisdom and answers!
Absolutely. I learned early on that sharing details that are perhaps too intimate for a public online spot often lead to to one of two things:
ReplyDelete1. People online think that they have full access to you and feel the need to email you about your life decisions and/or give advice and expect it followed!
2. You cheapen those involved by writing too openly.
So, yes, I set boundaries and I stick to them. Especially in any avenue where the audience is mostly unknown to me. A private blog can serve as a diary of sorts if the outlet you love is blogging. :)
I'll be honest, I'm not much for giving out private information or life details in general - I'm way too private -, but going forward with discretion and wisdom online is a learned thing for all of us!
Thanks, Kristen! Words of wisdom that I will definitely incorporate to my blog writing.
ReplyDeleteThis is a very profound post. I work in the publishing industry where each authors life is an open book, where pen names become the norm in order to try and protect their true life.
ReplyDeleteI too tell everyone everything and had to learn the hard way that although open communication is a good thing, it is not always the best thing every time. There are some things we need to hold close and personal.
Louise