This week, for the first time in a long time, I really truly failed at something. Every month I have a writing deadline for the amazing ministry/blog/online magazine www.exemplifyonline.com. This month I couldn't meet it even though I gave every brain cell a stern lecture to get in gear and write!
Ask my friends...I sat in front of my computer for days and hours at a time, and I could not write. They would know. They received a number of "frustrated writer" phone calls (which may jut be worse than any "woman scorned" phone calls. Trust me.).
Here's my brain spiral of thoughts as I approached the deadline:
"Why can't I write this article?!"
"It's like the words in my brain were sucked out by some space black-hole vacuum."
" The devil must stealing my creativity tonight."
"So. Tired."
"I hate disappointing my editor."
"I'm actually not going to be able write this article."
"Ok, Jesus, seriously, why can't I write on this topic? I feel so dry."
At this point, the light bulb blinks on over my head and I knew why I was so dry. Uh, I hadn't really read my Bible in the last month. I could give you a million excuses, but none are worth your time. I just didn't do it. So, lesson learned, Jesus, lesson learned. To be spiritually full, I must feed. (sounds very vampiric, don't you think?). True story...the Bible fills my love tank.
"My contact with the nature of God will shape my understanding of His call and will help me realize what I truly desire to do for Him."
The more contact I have with God, the more I understand who I am, what He wants me to do, and how to do it. For me, this includes writing because it's what I desire to do for God. (Not sure this is theologically sound, but then again, I'm not a theologian.) The more time I spend with God, the more understanding I have about not only myself, but the world around me; natural and supernatural.
So, this weeks lesson, kids, is that 1) if I want to know God, I must spend time with Him and 2) to be spiritually full, I must be spiritually fed.
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A BIG thank you to my editor for giving me an undeserved second chance to continue writing!
:)
ReplyDeleteI think it is a lesson for all of us to learn. I ended up taking a break and don't a column in February's issue because I too was dry. It had more to do with what was going on around me more than anything but I have noticed this year as I have been much more intentional about my time in the Word my writing ideas have picked up tremendously.
It gets easier as time goes on too... :)