Knowing What to Say...

Last week I read a back issue of one of my favorite magazines that is no longer in print...Radiant Magazine.  Fortunately, they still have an online presence.  The reason I was rereading it was because I ran out of books to read and my requests hadn't made it to the library yet.  As you may know, I LOVE to read, and especially on my lunch break.  So, I needed something to read and why not a back issue of Radiant?

Anyway,  as I was reading an article written by 2 female friends; one is married and one is single.  This article addresses how single and married women can better relate to each other.  I wish I had a link to the article online, but you can buy this issue at the Relevant Store.  It is a great article about how single and married women can and need to be friends.  

The best part of the article are 2 lists title, "Loving Single Friends" and "Loving Married Friends".  Each had different things each group needs and wants from their friendships.  

Here are the lists: 

[DISCLAIMER: just so you know it comes from the fall 2006 issue of Radiant in the article What Not to Say by Marlene Baer and Cari Stone.  This is my anti-plagiarism statement.]

Loving Single Friends:

1. Initiate.  Get a sitter if you need to and plan a date with me, without your husband and kids.
2. Invite me over for dinner.  It's tough to fend for yourself every night or to eat leftovers at the kitchen sink.
3. Ask me to come on a weekend family trip or outing.  I want to get to know your spouse and your kids.
4. Join me on my turf.  Pick me up for lunch at my office, go on a walk with me in my neighborhood or go out with me on a Friday night.
5. Include me at your couples' parties.  Rather than trying to protect me from an awkward situation, let me decide if I feel like coming to the party so I don't feel excluded.

Loving Married Friends:

1. Ask me about my marriage and family.  I value your perspective, and you have insights that can help me navigate my world.
2. Meet me at a park to chat sometimes.  If you can be patient with my divided attention, meaningful conversation can prevail.
3. When you need advice about your professional life, call me.  Remember that I still like to think about things other than 2-year-olds.
4. Get to know my spouse.  You interest in him and what makes him tick means a lot to both of us.
5. When I have to say "no" to a fun getaway or evening because my family needs me, trust that this is a decision I didn't take lightly.  Support my commitment to keep my family my first priority.

As a single woman, I can affirm that those 5 statements are true for me.  It is important that not all activities with married friends revolve around kids, marriage and family events.  On the flip side, it is nice to be included in those events because I only get to experience that perspective through my married friends.  Basically, I want to be involved in my friends lives, but every good friendship needs some focused time too.

Being that I'm not married, I don't know if the "Loving Married Friends" list is true.  Is it?

What would you add or remove from each list?

Mismatched Shoe Policy

As you know, I am going to NYC in a matter of 11 days! In preparation for my trip, I had to buy a few things. One of those things was a pair of shoes to go with my new cocktail dress. Well, today I visited the DSW - St. Johns Town Center in Jacksonville, FL to purchase that pair of shoes. I found the perfect pair of shoes and went to the register to purchase them. The cashier checked the shoes and told me they were 2 different sizes (the difference was a 1/2 size). I told her I found them on the clearance rack, so she went back to find the matching pairs. She was unsuccessful, and decided to check the back of the store. When she came back to the register, she told me that the matching shoes were not in the store and it was the last pair in the store. I told her that was ok, and that I still wanted to buy the shoes because I couldn't tell a size difference when I put them on. She then informed me that she could not sell them to me mismatched because of a store policy. I understand the policy in theory because they do not want to sell mismatched shoes if the matching shoes are in the store, but in my case their matches were not in the store at all. That leads me to believe the other shoes were sold as a mismatched pair. After she told me the store policy, I asked to speak to her manager. The manager told me about the same policy, and so I asked what he would do with shoes he wouldn't sell to me. He told me that he would send them back to his vendor and they would be recycled. I was shocked that he was unwilling to sell me the shoes and send them to be recycled!! Recycled!! He would rather recycle the shoes than take my money! I like to shop at DSW, but the manager was unsympathetic, and unwilling to make a sale. Basically, the lack of attention to detail caused a mismatched pair of shoes to be sold and the other mismatched pair to be left in the store, and my perfect shoes could not be bought. Fortunately, my awesome mom was with me and encouraged me that we could find another pair of shoes just as great. 2 hours and 6 stores later, we found them. I like to shop, but I have never spent so much energy to find shoes to go with a dress! My mom is a trooper to go to all of those stores with me. Thanks mom!

My friend Nicole

Tonight I had dinner with my friend Nicole, and it was the last time to see her before she moves to Washington DC with her husband.  Nicole was my first friend when I moved to St. Augustine in high school.  We both worked at a grocery store and one night we had break together.  She started talking to me and inviting me to hang out with her and her friends.  She was an answer to many lonely prayers.  

We even went to the same college, and it was in college that our friendship was tested and almost broken.  Through that tough time, our friendship became stronger because we learned that some friendships are worth fighting for.  I am so thankful that we fought like hell to hold on because she has been a steady rock in my life through the years.  I can count on one hand my friends that I am completely unguarded with, and she is on that hand!   I'm going to miss her like crazy and believe when I say I'll be making trips to DC to

 stay with her and her hubby!

I love you, Nicole!

Stacked Week

This week is shaping up to be busy/crazy/stressful/fun!  Here's a rundown of what I have had going on since last Sunday and for the rest of the week:

Sunday:

• Work @ the nursery
• Birthday lunch with Jules
• Time with my big brother and the family

Monday:

• Faculty Meeting
• Luncheon for new-full time faculty
• Set-up for Convocation
• Set-up for reception for new full-time faculty
• Dinner with a new friend

Tuesday:

• Convocation (the speaker was Ah-mazing!)
• Set-up for meeting between faculty and Convocation speaker
• Help different departments get ready for the first day of classes
• Meeting 
• Play catch up on to-do list from Monday and Tuesday
• Dance Mix and Gentle Yoga classes

Wednesday:

• First Day of Classes!
• Staff Meeting
• Run around campus to help where needed w. first day stuff
• Finish catching up on Monday and Tuesday's lists
• Kids Praise kick-off at church...lead craft small group w. 4th & 5th graders
• Contemporary Choir rehearsal
• ANTM starts! (this is obviously part of the fun section of the week!)

Thursday:

• Prepare for guest on campus
• Try to do both Thursday's and Friday's work in case Hanna keeps me at home on Friday
• Meet with Boss
• Work on a big project with a tight deadline
• Figure out how to utilize my work-study student this semester
• Maybe go to Zumba
• Hang out down town with my Life Group

Friday:

• Maybe get a freebie day because of Hurricane Hanna...if not:
• Wrap up this crazy week
• Attend beginning of the year reception
• Maybe work over-time on a project

Saturday:

• Zumba class in the AM
• REST
• Get somethings I need for my trip to NYC
• REST
• Church
• Life Group